mswyrr
New to the Pub
Posts: 19
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Post by mswyrr on May 31, 2012 17:10:05 GMT -5
I've got my working draft up on Vimeo as it stands right now. EDIT: I have a newer draft up here on Vimeo now. I'd welcome any feedback on it! I have a couple specific things I'm working through that it would help to get opinions on, though. 1. The use of grey scale. Does it work? It's meant to show how Emily acts out the past in the present -- the fire she starts at Treadwell's is "lit" in the past when he hurt her as a child, little Amanda's hands pounding on the locked door become the psychologist's hands pounding for escape, Fauxmanda throwing Emily up against a wall in juvie becomes Emily throwing Nolan up against a wall, etc. But perhaps grey scale isn't the best way to accomplish this? I tried using a blue filter, but it didn't feel like it quite worked. idk. Added to that there's some flashbacks/memories from prior to her father's arrest which I have in very saturated color -- I kind of wanted the gray scale stuff to represent the time between his arrest and her release from juvie. Any thoughts on how the use of color & flashbacks are welcome! 2. I have no idea what to do with those very first beats of the song. Advice on that would be awesome! 3. The opening after those beats is supposed to be about how Emily's still the little girl she was but but with adult coping strategies. The little girl trusts strangers who are lying to her, while grown up Emily carefully crosses out their faces as she destroys them, the little girl throws her things around and then bows her head in helpless grief, while instead adult!Emily raises her head, a glint in her eye. It's the same girl and the same grief--"the past isn't dead. it isn't even past"--just the energy has been directed differently. But... I have no idea if any of this is coming across and, if so, if it's coming across well enough. Opinions? 4. I have yet to do the ending, as you can see. I want to show her beating people down on the lines "she's just like the weather" twice and then, on the third time, I want to show her starting to take a beating to the next level and kill WHM and *then* BAM -- she chooses not to. Her friend Nolan has been the person referenced each time the lyric "[you] can't hold her together" comes along. Because he can't. Not by himself. But the point is that *Emily* can hold herself together. With support. But if she doesn't want to, all the support in the world won't matter. The point is her and the choices she makes. She can choose, which makes her different from "the weather" -- she's not just chaos embodied come to blow your house down. I guess what I want to know here is if it feels like I've set that conclusion up well enough in the first two choruses and if anybody has advice on making that work better? Please don't feel constrained to only reply to those four points or like you have to comment on all four; comment on as much or as little as you like! All advice is welcome & helpful.
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Post by amnisias on Jun 17, 2012 5:40:02 GMT -5
Unfortunately I don't know the source, so I can only can give limited feedback. First off, great effort, this vid a lot of power and is well executed. I love the music choice, it's just the right amount of anger and dispair, so it supports both the clips with violence, and the more intorspective, sad ones. Who's the artist? I quite liked the song...
The grey scale totally works. I particularly like the way the clips are first introduced on the laptop, so it's makes a very clear connection to the past, and the fact that these are things that drive her actions. The only - minor - quibble I'd have is that the b&w clips are placed rather unevenly throughout the vid. Since I do not know the source I liked the occassions where visually there was a connection between the b&w clip and the adjecent colour clip, e.g. pushing somebody up the wall, or being arrested by police, ?dad on the cover of a journal and in RL,
Great opening credits, visually. They're really punchy and go well with the energy of the song. At the moment they're just a tiny bit off beat (just a fraction of second or so), so you might want to tweak that a little bit to make it even more catchy. Also, they diappear very suddenly, anyway you can make the disappearing fall on a major beat as well? The clips otherwise are great, I'd use that bit to introduce the character and POV. I might swap the first two clips around, though, so we first see the POV character (present Emily) and then the b&w young Emily.
In terms of actually themes I get that something bad happened to her, and that she's a) sad and b) angry and getting back at people, which I think is very good given that I don't know the source. It's definitely a satisfying watch and I was invested in her story, even if I didn't really know what was going on. The blond guy came across as a supportive, good guy, but not much else, he's kind of a passive character. I think the repeated use of the box really helped to create a visual connection between events, so you might want to introduce it a bit earlier, maybe?
If you want the vid to be accessible to a wider audience, you might consider cutting out some characters (e.g. that woman standing on the lighthouse, she only appears once?), if the main audience is the Revenge fandom you dont' need to worry about that, obviously.
With regards to 4. I would place clips mostly in terms of narrative, not lyrics. Most of this is totally lost on the first few watches anyway, most people watch more than they listen, and a vid lives more from it's visual narrative strength. If there is too much lyrical matching it actually decreases it's emotional punchyness, it works way better if it's only used sparingly, to punctuate important scenes. I really like her blowing out the candle on 'she wants silence' , the agression on 'she's like a winner', being hugged on 'hold her together' or touching the carving on 'history'. These are rather indirect lyrical associations rather than just literal word matching, the clips fit the narrative and emotion first, and ALSO fit the lyrics. Her standing in the snow on the word snow was a bit too forced for me, because it did not seem to particualry match with the scenes before or after. I'm not saying that clip doesn't work there, but it would need some visually lead in to that, so that the clip both fits the narrative and the lyrics.
I really like that ending very much, it's very satisfying because it provides a visual conclusion and also implies hope.
It's a great vid you've got there, it actually could lure me into watching the show. ;D
EDIT: Found the music, Florence & The Machine! Also noticed on youtube that it's 'she's like the weather' not winner. Which I guess is QED. People only get half the lyrics, even if they pay attention.
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Post by amnisias on Jul 29, 2012 6:36:37 GMT -5
Just thought you might like to know that I've got my hands on Revenge and was planning to watch it when I go to VVC - lot's of time to kill on that flight. How is it going with your vid? I've checked out your livejournal but could not find the post...
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mswyrr
New to the Pub
Posts: 19
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Post by mswyrr on Aug 18, 2012 5:16:20 GMT -5
Just thought you might like to know that I've got my hands on Revenge and was planning to watch it when I go to VVC - lot's of time to kill on that flight. How is it going with your vid? I've checked out your livejournal but could not find the post... Oh! That's fantastic. I hope you're having fun at VVC and that you enjoyed the show. Sorry for the long delay replying; I've been getting ready to start grad school and it's been keeping me busy. I leave on Sunday, but once I get settled I intend to use your feedback to polish up the vid and then post it. I appreciate your help so much! <33 Thank you.
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Post by amnisias on Aug 19, 2012 13:26:41 GMT -5
Education is way more important than vidding. At the moment it's not a great time to release vids anyway, there's always a bit of oversaturation following VVC. Best of luck with grad school and vidding...
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