Post by thatyourefuse on Nov 21, 2011 18:24:59 GMT -5
Continued from the Beta Mart thread here.
Chatlog
sweetestdrain: random question -- the "daddy can we meet" text... is that to her husband or her actual daddy?
sweetestdrain: either way, omg wrong
thatyourefuse: Actual daddy. And yes.
thatyourefuse: Yes it is. They are. And that's before all the shit goes downhill.
sweetestdrain: i love this vid.
thatyourefuse: thank you.
sweetestdrain: so i've rewatched a couple times now -- first of all, did you have any questions about what i had to say in my post?
thatyourefuse: &goes back and checks to make sure, but I don't *think* so.
sweetestdrain: i was trying not to type at you forever, so i don't know if it made as much sense as it could have, hee
thatyourefuse: there was a certain amount of processing involved, but I was having a bad week for verbal input anyway. it makes sense now I'm looking at it again.
thatyourefuse: and I don't think I have any questions.
sweetestdrain: good! and... i said all that without realizing the editor you were using and just how HARD it is to change things, heh
sweetestdrain: so i'm sure you were going "jesus christ, do WHAT?"
thatyourefuse: <3 no, I pretty much figured as soon as I started figuring out how it worked that I was going to have to totally recut the whole thing in revisions. It was built into my estimate.
thatyourefuse: and I want the vid to be better.
sweetestdrain: any day now i am going to stop going "omg you need to switch to premiere or another non-linear editor" when you say "recut the whole thing"
sweetestdrain: today might not be that day
sweetestdrain: but moving on, hee
sweetestdrain: do you have thoughts on pacing and how you might want to integrate some longer clips?
thatyourefuse: I reiterate, once I finish the two I have active, I will probably feel up to learning another whole protocol. and -- hrm.
sweetestdrain: i don't think it's a huge necessity through the whole vid, but in a few moments, like with the picture
thatyourefuse: yeah.
thatyourefuse: I'm watching it again and -- hmmmm.
sweetestdrain: and i don't want you to have to lose cassie's pov
sweetestdrain: because i really like that aspect of it
thatyourefuse: well, having an actual verse three would probably help with that as well.
sweetestdrain: and i think, if the problem is that she really doesn't DO a lot... even just letting a clip linger on her face as the lyric narrates what's going on in her head? that could put us there.
thatyourefuse: &nod. this is doable.
sweetestdrain: i really love how you're using motion in this vid
sweetestdrain: i especially dig the sequence where whatsisface gets stabbed and goes rolling
thatyourefuse: \o/
thatyourefuse: yeah, I had no idea that was going to work at all, I just threw it at the timeline.
sweetestdrain: and the sequence from 2:36 to the car accident (?) is great
sweetestdrain: i guess both of those are the... and here's when a knowledge of musical terminology would be helpful, hee
sweetestdrain: the bridges?
thatyourefuse: I believe so.
sweetestdrain: the instrumental, carousel-y bits
thatyourefuse: and god, you're picking all the things I did in like five minutes.
sweetestdrain: and those clips move like a carousel
sweetestdrain: hee, but that's good! that means you have INSTINCTS
sweetestdrain: and it's not like the rest of it's not working, too -- the interactions are so well-evoked
sweetestdrain: like, you saw even in my weird plot summary i mostly got an idea of how people are relating to each other
thatyourefuse: &nod.
sweetestdrain: and the whole opening sequence is another one of my favorites
sweetestdrain: the first 20=25 secs
sweetestdrain: it's so lush and fucked up
thatyourefuse: \o/!
sweetestdrain: now that i know who paula is, i'm getting more out of the placement of the tattoo next to prue's bruised face
sweetestdrain: because he's striking out at her as revenge for paula? maybe?
sweetestdrain: feel free to correct me, hee
thatyourefuse: YES!
thatyourefuse: that's actually exactly it.
sweetestdrain: yay!
sweetestdrain: i'm sure there's so much more like that in here that i'm just not getting because of lack of source knowledge
sweetestdrain: but that is going to pay off so awesomely for people who know the show/series
thatyourefuse: well, that's me and one friend I have who isn't big on vids, that I know of, but oh well. I pretty much decided the other night that I'm going to make it such that *I* enjoy it and think it's properly layered, and hope that it's an entertaining enough progression of images that at least a few other people want to watch it anyway.
sweetestdrain: yeah, and it's definitely working on that level
sweetestdrain: i know renenet watched it -- and i think she was going to comment, but then got busy with work -- but she said that it was one of the first vids she's seen that actually made sense of this song for her
thatyourefuse: ...
thatyourefuse: my jaw is a tiny bit dropped. (And I've just accepted that yeah, I need to slow the ending down, it's *ridiculous* as stands.)
sweetestdrain: heee, she really liked it!
sweetestdrain: and yeah, the ending needs to breathe a bit
sweetestdrain: because everything that's happening in that bit is both emotionally fraught and also really pretty visually
thatyourefuse: Oh, god, people keep saying things like that and my first instinct is to go hide my face in the pillow. And I think I panicked because I was running out of song, but I think with fewer but longer clips. And I can let the last few play over silence if I have to.
sweetestdrain: yeah, i think the song can fade out with him jumping out of the balloon
sweetestdrain: and the baby can be silent
sweetestdrain: because the "sound of jacob marley's chain" is ended by that point, anyway
thatyourefuse: yes.
sweetestdrain: there are a couple other places where i was kind of feeling like the pacing could slow a little
sweetestdrain: ymmv? but it might give you an idea of where to look as you're going back over everything
thatyourefuse: go for it.
sweetestdrain: i think the opening bit is really beautifully cut to the twangy bits
sweetestdrain: and as soon as the vocals come in
sweetestdrain: i kind of want things to slow a bit
thatyourefuse: okay. that makes sense.
sweetestdrain and that might be a place to think about really pinning down cassie's narrative voice
sweetestdrain: just by spending time on her face, like i said earlier
thatyourefuse: okay. (it's difficult because none of the verses is really about her until verse three, and that's the one I don't... really... have.) But &nod.
sweetestdrain: yeah, it's a weird song for handling POV, really, because the point of the POV is that it's talking about another person
thatyourefuse: yes. which is kind of her problem in life, really.
sweetestdrain: so we're meant to focus on this other person, but through the lens/filter of the first...
thatyourefuse: her POV is about other people.
sweetestdrain: ooh, i like that
sweetestdrain: that makes me even happier about your song choice, hee
thatyourefuse: yeah. I have kind of a handful of songs that are *sort* of about her (I swear to god I nearly did the whole thing to an instrumental piano cover of "Everything In Its Right Place") but once I'd locked onto that one, yeah, it was kind of spookily perfect.
sweetestdrain: but yeah, when the vocals kick in, the tempo (?? sorry i suck) of the song doesn't change a whole lot, but it gets quieter
sweetestdrain: and i think the visuals could reflect that a little more
thatyourefuse: that makes sense.
sweetestdrain: maybe just at first, to mark that transition, then go back to cutting how you need to to tell the story
sweetestdrain: and then you can really pick and choose the moments when you might want to linger
thatyourefuse: which I think *is* slower, actually, in general. but yeah.
sweetestdrain: and, i mean, i am a lingerer. i think it could be really useful for certain points in this vid, but some people vid differently, like you saw in some of abbey's recs
sweetestdrain: but i think in general, variation always helps to make people pay attention, you know?
thatyourefuse: yeah. I'm definitely flicking through too quickly, as it stands.
sweetestdrain: but i've totally done that too, when i have a lot of story to tell
thatyourefuse: I mean, there are so many bits in the canon where you're pretty much just sitting there chanting "ohhhh noooo, don't doooooo that..." (and they're mostly on the first bridge...)
sweetestdrain: it's so frustrating to not have ROOM, heh
thatyourefuse: it really is.
thatyourefuse: but yeah. there needs to be more dwelling upon of things.
sweetestdrain: /nods
sweetestdrain: i think that part and the end are where i'm feeling it most
thatyourefuse: I got locked into a clip length I was comfortable with and I got scared to start playing with it.
sweetestdrain: but maybe also in the section where you have some blank spaces
sweetestdrain: what do you plan to fill in there?
thatyourefuse yeah.
thatyourefuse: okay. the first bit of blank space is more shots of all of them not looking like they want to kill each other, which you can understand why I'm having issues there.
sweetestdrain: heee
thatyourefuse: and the second is this thing that *no one* but me is going to get but I am going to really enjoy it if I pull it off. which is... there's a bit of talkyface in that line. it's Cassie saying "yes I did." To Prue asking her whether *she* meant to get pregnant. Cassie and Peter have been married around seventeen to eighteen years. Prue is about seventeen to eighteen. And Hermione Norris is a goddamn acting genius. Because you *know right then* that this woman is watching her daughter make the exact same stupid mistake she's regretted making for about half her life. And that is a *bitch* to imply in images. So eventually I just slapped a frame of black in there, timed it to cover the rest of the line, and told myself I'd fix it later.
thatyourefuse: And there's a third bit of blackspace which is one shot long and I just don't know what the shot is yet, no deep thoughts about that.
sweetestdrain: oh, that sounds like an awesome moment
thatyourefuse: I totally missed it the first time, but it's right there the second.
thatyourefuse: but it's *kind of difficult* to get across visually. So is the *really* great one at the end.
thatyourefuse: i43.tinypic.com/21pcj.png -- this scene is *impossible to vid*. because it all hinges on a single line, and it is absolutely shattering.
thatyourefuse: (any point is where you're entirely free to tell me I'm getting overambitious, here, too.)
sweetestdrain: that's the scene at 2:25 ish? i have no idea what's happening there, but i get that it's important
sweetestdrain: and that's the part of the vid when everything is breaking down
sweetestdrain: (even more)
thatyourefuse: yeah. that's when the whole thing comes out between the two of them, the whole Paula thing, and -- I know this by heart --
"I do not love Prue out of guilt, I *will not* have that said --"
"And is there anything else that you will not. Have. *Said*. About Prue."
sweetestdrain: ohhhh, ouch.
thatyourefuse: eeeeeeeeverything coming down in sharp pieces all at once. and the words "I have no idea what you're talking about" appear nowhere in his response, incidentally.
thatyourefuse: but that's another one I'm having a hard time conveying visually.
sweetestdrain: yeah
thatyourefuse: you can see me kind of trying in a half-assed way, I think, but not really.
sweetestdrain: have you thought about more visual metaphors? this is just kind of a random idea, i don't know if it would work
sweetestdrain: but like how you have the shattering thing earlier -- did you say that was a bowl?
thatyourefuse: yeah.
sweetestdrain: and the rose at the very beginning
sweetestdrain: if there's something you could intercut with that scene to say, "shit's going DOWN." but visually.
thatyourefuse: &nod. there *should* be another breaking thing at that point, but there's not. alas.
sweetestdrain: oh crap i just connected prue's blue balloon in the video to the blue balloon at the end
sweetestdrain: !!! you should do something with that
sweetestdrain: cause ouch
thatyourefuse: \o/! Yeah, I was *way* pushing it in an earlier draft, I think, and I might go back and put a few instances back in... I could fit one in the opening, maybe. Take out one of those external shots that isn't really doing much.
sweetestdrain: hmm, what would happen if you moved it to the end?
sweetestdrain: blue balloon, blue balloon.
thatyourefuse: ooooh.
sweetestdrain: as sisabet likes to say, subtlety is for pussies.
sweetestdrain: hee
thatyourefuse: yeah. (actually, I think the source does that, so. It's fucking not a subtle *source*, honestly.)
sweetestdrain: heeee
thatyourefuse: but yeah, I could definitely do that.
sweetestdrain: nice
sweetestdrain: yeah, play with it!
sweetestdrain: set us up with the blue balloon
sweetestdrain: then at the end
sweetestdrain: bring it back
sweetestdrain: give us that "oh, SHIT" moment
thatyourefuse: &nodnod
thatyourefuse: That is definitely doable.
sweetestdrain: should we talk about the end because we kind of are already?
sweetestdrain: what are you planning already?
sweetestdrain: you were saying you want to slow it down a bit
thatyourefuse: (I would do more with the rose from the opener but it's actually from the credit sequence, so those are literally like the only two shots I could get without text on them.)
thatyourefuse: yeah.
thatyourefuse: I've known the last shot was her with the baby pretty much since I've started, so that's only going anywhere if it *really* doesn't* work. But I think that and maybe even the jump can play over silence. But yeah -- I want to take a few of about those last eight clips out and let the rest be *way* longer.
sweetestdrain: yeah
sweetestdrain: and some of those might be more expendable than others
thatyourefuse: yeah.
sweetestdrain: like, the "happy birthday peter" maybe not
sweetestdrain: but him stretching his arms out, yes
sweetestdrain: just some tough choices
thatyourefuse: yeah.
sweetestdrain: i wonder if, a little earlier, the funeral could last a bit longer? i'm assuming that's prue's?
thatyourefuse: yeah. it *should*. I was going aaaaaaaaagh about running out of song.
sweetestdrain: yeah
thatyourefuse: but I think maybe I could lose a couple of clips out of the car accident?
sweetestdrain: that's just what i was about to say
sweetestdrain: i love the kind of dream-like jump cuts of him walking forward
thatyourefuse: yeah. I can actually *point to* the point at which I realized I was running out of song, and it's the shot of her at the funeral.
sweetestdrain: but something could be shortened there
thatyourefuse: but a couple of the car shots can go.
sweetestdrain: and maybe, to make it clearer whose funeral, prue could fade to black or something? or some sort of other visual cue
thatyourefuse: ooooh. good thought.
sweetestdrain: so the sequence after the funeral, what all's happening there plot-wise?
sweetestdrain: she has sort of confrontation with the dude, who then talks to peter?
sweetestdrain: and leaves town?
thatyourefuse: yes.
sweetestdrain: hmm
sweetestdrain: i see what it's doing narratively, but i wonder if you could also utilize some tough love here, too
thatyourefuse: probably.
sweetestdrain: like, we get a lot of peter in the scene in prue's bedroom, and in the balloon
sweetestdrain: so maybe we don't need the dude confronting him?
thatyourefuse: Probably not, actually.
sweetestdrain: i think that might be implied
sweetestdrain: and it would give you room to space things out a bit
thatyourefuse: yeah, it's a brilliant scene but it might actually be extraneous.
sweetestdrain: right
thatyourefuse: I was just flailing around trying to, you know, not lose any of my five thousand storylines. (There's actually another bit with Sarah before he goes off the edge, too, but I wasn't even TOUCHING that.)
sweetestdrain: this is the problem with vidding things we love, hee. everything is important!
thatyourefuse: yes.
thatyourefuse: but if my brief for revisions is More Hermione Norris's Face, I think I might just *possibly* be able to force myself to live with that.
sweetestdrain: heee, yes, i think that's my main piece of advice
sweetestdrain: more hermione norris's face, more pretty things and people jumping out of hot air balloons
thatyourefuse: all things I can definitely work with.
sweetestdrain: i also wonder if we should see the happy birthday balloon fly away after peter jumps?
sweetestdrain: for a nice little bit of visual irony?
thatyourefuse: OH.
thatyourefuse: Tits. I am 98% positive you're completely right.
sweetestdrain: ahaha, it's worth a try anyway!
thatyourefuse: is that.
sweetestdrain: i think that's most all that i've got for this draft
thatyourefuse: okay.
thatyourefuse: I can work with this.
Chatlog
sweetestdrain: random question -- the "daddy can we meet" text... is that to her husband or her actual daddy?
sweetestdrain: either way, omg wrong
thatyourefuse: Actual daddy. And yes.
thatyourefuse: Yes it is. They are. And that's before all the shit goes downhill.
sweetestdrain: i love this vid.
thatyourefuse: thank you.
sweetestdrain: so i've rewatched a couple times now -- first of all, did you have any questions about what i had to say in my post?
thatyourefuse: &goes back and checks to make sure, but I don't *think* so.
sweetestdrain: i was trying not to type at you forever, so i don't know if it made as much sense as it could have, hee
thatyourefuse: there was a certain amount of processing involved, but I was having a bad week for verbal input anyway. it makes sense now I'm looking at it again.
thatyourefuse: and I don't think I have any questions.
sweetestdrain: good! and... i said all that without realizing the editor you were using and just how HARD it is to change things, heh
sweetestdrain: so i'm sure you were going "jesus christ, do WHAT?"
thatyourefuse: <3 no, I pretty much figured as soon as I started figuring out how it worked that I was going to have to totally recut the whole thing in revisions. It was built into my estimate.
thatyourefuse: and I want the vid to be better.
sweetestdrain: any day now i am going to stop going "omg you need to switch to premiere or another non-linear editor" when you say "recut the whole thing"
sweetestdrain: today might not be that day
sweetestdrain: but moving on, hee
sweetestdrain: do you have thoughts on pacing and how you might want to integrate some longer clips?
thatyourefuse: I reiterate, once I finish the two I have active, I will probably feel up to learning another whole protocol. and -- hrm.
sweetestdrain: i don't think it's a huge necessity through the whole vid, but in a few moments, like with the picture
thatyourefuse: yeah.
thatyourefuse: I'm watching it again and -- hmmmm.
sweetestdrain: and i don't want you to have to lose cassie's pov
sweetestdrain: because i really like that aspect of it
thatyourefuse: well, having an actual verse three would probably help with that as well.
sweetestdrain: and i think, if the problem is that she really doesn't DO a lot... even just letting a clip linger on her face as the lyric narrates what's going on in her head? that could put us there.
thatyourefuse: &nod. this is doable.
sweetestdrain: i really love how you're using motion in this vid
sweetestdrain: i especially dig the sequence where whatsisface gets stabbed and goes rolling
thatyourefuse: \o/
thatyourefuse: yeah, I had no idea that was going to work at all, I just threw it at the timeline.
sweetestdrain: and the sequence from 2:36 to the car accident (?) is great
sweetestdrain: i guess both of those are the... and here's when a knowledge of musical terminology would be helpful, hee
sweetestdrain: the bridges?
thatyourefuse: I believe so.
sweetestdrain: the instrumental, carousel-y bits
thatyourefuse: and god, you're picking all the things I did in like five minutes.
sweetestdrain: and those clips move like a carousel
sweetestdrain: hee, but that's good! that means you have INSTINCTS
sweetestdrain: and it's not like the rest of it's not working, too -- the interactions are so well-evoked
sweetestdrain: like, you saw even in my weird plot summary i mostly got an idea of how people are relating to each other
thatyourefuse: &nod.
sweetestdrain: and the whole opening sequence is another one of my favorites
sweetestdrain: the first 20=25 secs
sweetestdrain: it's so lush and fucked up
thatyourefuse: \o/!
sweetestdrain: now that i know who paula is, i'm getting more out of the placement of the tattoo next to prue's bruised face
sweetestdrain: because he's striking out at her as revenge for paula? maybe?
sweetestdrain: feel free to correct me, hee
thatyourefuse: YES!
thatyourefuse: that's actually exactly it.
sweetestdrain: yay!
sweetestdrain: i'm sure there's so much more like that in here that i'm just not getting because of lack of source knowledge
sweetestdrain: but that is going to pay off so awesomely for people who know the show/series
thatyourefuse: well, that's me and one friend I have who isn't big on vids, that I know of, but oh well. I pretty much decided the other night that I'm going to make it such that *I* enjoy it and think it's properly layered, and hope that it's an entertaining enough progression of images that at least a few other people want to watch it anyway.
sweetestdrain: yeah, and it's definitely working on that level
sweetestdrain: i know renenet watched it -- and i think she was going to comment, but then got busy with work -- but she said that it was one of the first vids she's seen that actually made sense of this song for her
thatyourefuse: ...
thatyourefuse: my jaw is a tiny bit dropped. (And I've just accepted that yeah, I need to slow the ending down, it's *ridiculous* as stands.)
sweetestdrain: heee, she really liked it!
sweetestdrain: and yeah, the ending needs to breathe a bit
sweetestdrain: because everything that's happening in that bit is both emotionally fraught and also really pretty visually
thatyourefuse: Oh, god, people keep saying things like that and my first instinct is to go hide my face in the pillow. And I think I panicked because I was running out of song, but I think with fewer but longer clips. And I can let the last few play over silence if I have to.
sweetestdrain: yeah, i think the song can fade out with him jumping out of the balloon
sweetestdrain: and the baby can be silent
sweetestdrain: because the "sound of jacob marley's chain" is ended by that point, anyway
thatyourefuse: yes.
sweetestdrain: there are a couple other places where i was kind of feeling like the pacing could slow a little
sweetestdrain: ymmv? but it might give you an idea of where to look as you're going back over everything
thatyourefuse: go for it.
sweetestdrain: i think the opening bit is really beautifully cut to the twangy bits
sweetestdrain: and as soon as the vocals come in
sweetestdrain: i kind of want things to slow a bit
thatyourefuse: okay. that makes sense.
sweetestdrain and that might be a place to think about really pinning down cassie's narrative voice
sweetestdrain: just by spending time on her face, like i said earlier
thatyourefuse: okay. (it's difficult because none of the verses is really about her until verse three, and that's the one I don't... really... have.) But &nod.
sweetestdrain: yeah, it's a weird song for handling POV, really, because the point of the POV is that it's talking about another person
thatyourefuse: yes. which is kind of her problem in life, really.
sweetestdrain: so we're meant to focus on this other person, but through the lens/filter of the first...
thatyourefuse: her POV is about other people.
sweetestdrain: ooh, i like that
sweetestdrain: that makes me even happier about your song choice, hee
thatyourefuse: yeah. I have kind of a handful of songs that are *sort* of about her (I swear to god I nearly did the whole thing to an instrumental piano cover of "Everything In Its Right Place") but once I'd locked onto that one, yeah, it was kind of spookily perfect.
sweetestdrain: but yeah, when the vocals kick in, the tempo (?? sorry i suck) of the song doesn't change a whole lot, but it gets quieter
sweetestdrain: and i think the visuals could reflect that a little more
thatyourefuse: that makes sense.
sweetestdrain: maybe just at first, to mark that transition, then go back to cutting how you need to to tell the story
sweetestdrain: and then you can really pick and choose the moments when you might want to linger
thatyourefuse: which I think *is* slower, actually, in general. but yeah.
sweetestdrain: and, i mean, i am a lingerer. i think it could be really useful for certain points in this vid, but some people vid differently, like you saw in some of abbey's recs
sweetestdrain: but i think in general, variation always helps to make people pay attention, you know?
thatyourefuse: yeah. I'm definitely flicking through too quickly, as it stands.
sweetestdrain: but i've totally done that too, when i have a lot of story to tell
thatyourefuse: I mean, there are so many bits in the canon where you're pretty much just sitting there chanting "ohhhh noooo, don't doooooo that..." (and they're mostly on the first bridge...)
sweetestdrain: it's so frustrating to not have ROOM, heh
thatyourefuse: it really is.
thatyourefuse: but yeah. there needs to be more dwelling upon of things.
sweetestdrain: /nods
sweetestdrain: i think that part and the end are where i'm feeling it most
thatyourefuse: I got locked into a clip length I was comfortable with and I got scared to start playing with it.
sweetestdrain: but maybe also in the section where you have some blank spaces
sweetestdrain: what do you plan to fill in there?
thatyourefuse yeah.
thatyourefuse: okay. the first bit of blank space is more shots of all of them not looking like they want to kill each other, which you can understand why I'm having issues there.
sweetestdrain: heee
thatyourefuse: and the second is this thing that *no one* but me is going to get but I am going to really enjoy it if I pull it off. which is... there's a bit of talkyface in that line. it's Cassie saying "yes I did." To Prue asking her whether *she* meant to get pregnant. Cassie and Peter have been married around seventeen to eighteen years. Prue is about seventeen to eighteen. And Hermione Norris is a goddamn acting genius. Because you *know right then* that this woman is watching her daughter make the exact same stupid mistake she's regretted making for about half her life. And that is a *bitch* to imply in images. So eventually I just slapped a frame of black in there, timed it to cover the rest of the line, and told myself I'd fix it later.
thatyourefuse: And there's a third bit of blackspace which is one shot long and I just don't know what the shot is yet, no deep thoughts about that.
sweetestdrain: oh, that sounds like an awesome moment
thatyourefuse: I totally missed it the first time, but it's right there the second.
thatyourefuse: but it's *kind of difficult* to get across visually. So is the *really* great one at the end.
thatyourefuse: i43.tinypic.com/21pcj.png -- this scene is *impossible to vid*. because it all hinges on a single line, and it is absolutely shattering.
thatyourefuse: (any point is where you're entirely free to tell me I'm getting overambitious, here, too.)
sweetestdrain: that's the scene at 2:25 ish? i have no idea what's happening there, but i get that it's important
sweetestdrain: and that's the part of the vid when everything is breaking down
sweetestdrain: (even more)
thatyourefuse: yeah. that's when the whole thing comes out between the two of them, the whole Paula thing, and -- I know this by heart --
"I do not love Prue out of guilt, I *will not* have that said --"
"And is there anything else that you will not. Have. *Said*. About Prue."
sweetestdrain: ohhhh, ouch.
thatyourefuse: eeeeeeeeverything coming down in sharp pieces all at once. and the words "I have no idea what you're talking about" appear nowhere in his response, incidentally.
thatyourefuse: but that's another one I'm having a hard time conveying visually.
sweetestdrain: yeah
thatyourefuse: you can see me kind of trying in a half-assed way, I think, but not really.
sweetestdrain: have you thought about more visual metaphors? this is just kind of a random idea, i don't know if it would work
sweetestdrain: but like how you have the shattering thing earlier -- did you say that was a bowl?
thatyourefuse: yeah.
sweetestdrain: and the rose at the very beginning
sweetestdrain: if there's something you could intercut with that scene to say, "shit's going DOWN." but visually.
thatyourefuse: &nod. there *should* be another breaking thing at that point, but there's not. alas.
sweetestdrain: oh crap i just connected prue's blue balloon in the video to the blue balloon at the end
sweetestdrain: !!! you should do something with that
sweetestdrain: cause ouch
thatyourefuse: \o/! Yeah, I was *way* pushing it in an earlier draft, I think, and I might go back and put a few instances back in... I could fit one in the opening, maybe. Take out one of those external shots that isn't really doing much.
sweetestdrain: hmm, what would happen if you moved it to the end?
sweetestdrain: blue balloon, blue balloon.
thatyourefuse: ooooh.
sweetestdrain: as sisabet likes to say, subtlety is for pussies.
sweetestdrain: hee
thatyourefuse: yeah. (actually, I think the source does that, so. It's fucking not a subtle *source*, honestly.)
sweetestdrain: heeee
thatyourefuse: but yeah, I could definitely do that.
sweetestdrain: nice
sweetestdrain: yeah, play with it!
sweetestdrain: set us up with the blue balloon
sweetestdrain: then at the end
sweetestdrain: bring it back
sweetestdrain: give us that "oh, SHIT" moment
thatyourefuse: &nodnod
thatyourefuse: That is definitely doable.
sweetestdrain: should we talk about the end because we kind of are already?
sweetestdrain: what are you planning already?
sweetestdrain: you were saying you want to slow it down a bit
thatyourefuse: (I would do more with the rose from the opener but it's actually from the credit sequence, so those are literally like the only two shots I could get without text on them.)
thatyourefuse: yeah.
thatyourefuse: I've known the last shot was her with the baby pretty much since I've started, so that's only going anywhere if it *really* doesn't* work. But I think that and maybe even the jump can play over silence. But yeah -- I want to take a few of about those last eight clips out and let the rest be *way* longer.
sweetestdrain: yeah
sweetestdrain: and some of those might be more expendable than others
thatyourefuse: yeah.
sweetestdrain: like, the "happy birthday peter" maybe not
sweetestdrain: but him stretching his arms out, yes
sweetestdrain: just some tough choices
thatyourefuse: yeah.
sweetestdrain: i wonder if, a little earlier, the funeral could last a bit longer? i'm assuming that's prue's?
thatyourefuse: yeah. it *should*. I was going aaaaaaaaagh about running out of song.
sweetestdrain: yeah
thatyourefuse: but I think maybe I could lose a couple of clips out of the car accident?
sweetestdrain: that's just what i was about to say
sweetestdrain: i love the kind of dream-like jump cuts of him walking forward
thatyourefuse: yeah. I can actually *point to* the point at which I realized I was running out of song, and it's the shot of her at the funeral.
sweetestdrain: but something could be shortened there
thatyourefuse: but a couple of the car shots can go.
sweetestdrain: and maybe, to make it clearer whose funeral, prue could fade to black or something? or some sort of other visual cue
thatyourefuse: ooooh. good thought.
sweetestdrain: so the sequence after the funeral, what all's happening there plot-wise?
sweetestdrain: she has sort of confrontation with the dude, who then talks to peter?
sweetestdrain: and leaves town?
thatyourefuse: yes.
sweetestdrain: hmm
sweetestdrain: i see what it's doing narratively, but i wonder if you could also utilize some tough love here, too
thatyourefuse: probably.
sweetestdrain: like, we get a lot of peter in the scene in prue's bedroom, and in the balloon
sweetestdrain: so maybe we don't need the dude confronting him?
thatyourefuse: Probably not, actually.
sweetestdrain: i think that might be implied
sweetestdrain: and it would give you room to space things out a bit
thatyourefuse: yeah, it's a brilliant scene but it might actually be extraneous.
sweetestdrain: right
thatyourefuse: I was just flailing around trying to, you know, not lose any of my five thousand storylines. (There's actually another bit with Sarah before he goes off the edge, too, but I wasn't even TOUCHING that.)
sweetestdrain: this is the problem with vidding things we love, hee. everything is important!
thatyourefuse: yes.
thatyourefuse: but if my brief for revisions is More Hermione Norris's Face, I think I might just *possibly* be able to force myself to live with that.
sweetestdrain: heee, yes, i think that's my main piece of advice
sweetestdrain: more hermione norris's face, more pretty things and people jumping out of hot air balloons
thatyourefuse: all things I can definitely work with.
sweetestdrain: i also wonder if we should see the happy birthday balloon fly away after peter jumps?
sweetestdrain: for a nice little bit of visual irony?
thatyourefuse: OH.
thatyourefuse: Tits. I am 98% positive you're completely right.
sweetestdrain: ahaha, it's worth a try anyway!
thatyourefuse: is that.
sweetestdrain: i think that's most all that i've got for this draft
thatyourefuse: okay.
thatyourefuse: I can work with this.